Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
