i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
