He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
