i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
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That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
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Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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