I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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