I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
