If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize