last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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