Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
