I am in a vortex of obligation.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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