Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
