I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
