Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
