that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
