you win again, gameday.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
