i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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