kristin has been a bad kristin
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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