Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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