Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
