Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
