she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
