...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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