Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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