when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
