You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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