On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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