i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
