i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
