Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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