my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize