Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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