he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
