Got a toothbrush?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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