I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
