I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
