So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
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You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize