cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
