You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
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