so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
