he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
