She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
