And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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