This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
