had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
