I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
