$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
