What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
