If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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