sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
