Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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