yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
