We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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