Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
