So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
