Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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