friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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