Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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