Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
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Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
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This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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