Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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