You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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